Influencers are the bane of modern society. They are everywhere, on the streets, in your house, even in your phones! The worst of the worst live in something called Honey House, which is like Hype House for adults. Quote unquote adults.
These twentysomethings and their made up careers are no match for two gentleman thieves and their malignant misunderstanding of what a TikTok is. Relentlessly they will use and understand modern technology and combine it with halloween spookiness to be the bad influence they themselves were always meant to be.
We’re also on TikTok now. We’ve made one TikTok and that started and simultaneously ended our careers.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it two gentleman thieves glued together in an overly expensive suit on a mission to steal Nic Cage’s Superman outfit?
Yup. It’s just that. In this episode we time travel to the magical year of 1997, when Nicolas Cage could’ve been Tim Burton’s Superman, fought off a giant spider, and had a space dog. None of this came to pass, but a suit was created fit for a Kryptonian. Shinier than any material on earth, glossier, sparklier, with layers and layers of latex to allow full appreciation of Cage’s flowing black hair piece.
And now it is for us to foil Warner Bros.’s evil plan, un-release the Snyder cut, take our own cut, and make a flight for it!
No commander in chief is complete without two of them! That’s testicles and Air Force One and Air Force One II – Electric Boogaloo.
Just in time for the upcoming US election pitting one old white man against another, our gentleman thief Sebastian (not that old, white, man) and vixen of crime Judith will steal the president’s plane. How, why, and mostly how? Well, listen in as the two plan golf trips, gilly suits, and photo shoots.
Friend of the show Judith Shoemaker still fills in for Oskar this month, so send her lots of love on Instagram (@shoedith_jumaker) and follow her miscellaneous adventures and shenanigans.
A diamond might be forever, but it can still change hands.
On November 7th 2000 seven criminals attempted to steal the Millennium Star diamond with brute force and a speed boat and were caught before they could get a hand on the loot. On February 7th 2020 Judith and Sebastian will succeed where they failed. And also use a speed boat.
Stealing from shady individuals is what we do in the heist lounge and few corporations are as shady as De Beers, diamond dealers by day with only a few blood diamonds in the mix, and international conglomerate with flexible labour laws by night. They were also the inventors of the concept of the engagement ring in 1940s.
Unlike hosts, diamonds linger… Friend of the show Judith Shoemaker fills in for Oskar this month, so send her lots of love on Instagram (@shoedith_jumaker) and find out the story behind her handle in this episode. Sizzle.
Nothing is quite as fashionable as crime… perhaps the world’s most famous Birman cat Choupette. Now that her previous owner Karl Lagerfeld designs black suits in – optimistically – Limbo, she is left to her own devices and Lagerfeld’s millions.
Together with special guest Erman Jones our two gentleman thieves plan for a speedy getaway on the catwalk, designer perfumes, expensive suits (as always), and lots of catnip.
In our 15th episode our two gentleman thieves go down under! Together with Alasdair and Andy from Two in the Think Tank we steal something very comfortable and very right wing.
Pauline Hanson from Australia’s One Nation Party has a seat in the Australian Senate in Canberra. For now. Attempting to unseat her and leave the woman standing right near the urethra of the Australian Phallic Chamber of the senate, we’ll have to use jet skis, newspaper ads, a giant golden coat of course, and Grig. Our very own character that is just original enough to not be a mock up Grug.