Research and Resources
You can listen to episode 31 of our podcast on pretty much all platforms, if you want to find out more about @Smoothmyballs, their “company”, their MO, and their affiliate model. In the meantime, we can also provide you with some evidence to uncover why we come to the conclusion that Smooth My Balls is a scam, and how you could identify them and other similarly dodgy business models. On April 25th we received the following message:
I didn’t look into the account at this point and thought it was just some generic affiliate rubbish. Promote a product you’ve never tested, offer a code, etc. – fine, whatever. But the brand sounds funny, we love things that sound funny. So why not hit them up. I sent them a message and this was the reply I got:
I merely skimmed it and only later clicked on the link to find out… well, it’s not actually free, is it? We’d have to purchase the discounted kit first. And paying anything to be part of a programme… well, that’s multi level marketing scheme material right there. Don’t worry, if you’ve received the same or a very similar message. We’ve checked and double-checked and triple-checked. There’s no Dana, only copy-paste. So, why bother? Why engage with them, at all? Because we steal from people that deserve to be stolen from. Everything looks professional enough… at first glance, so let’s start with their socials. 12 posts on Instagram and… 470k followers? Whoa! Big brand right there.
Let’s check their facebook and twitter next:
Those numbers aren’t quite as impressive, but I guess SmoothMyBalls didn’t have the money to buy bots across platforms. Their twitter even uses their old logo. Alas, bots these days… Interestingly, they only liked one tweet:
Good stuff. Seems that Smooth My Balls really focuses on the far right testicle. But people have brand ambassadored for them, right? And they’re waving around a product. The Turf Chopper 3.0 – wait, that also sounds familiar…
But that’s not fair! There’s only so many ball-lawn-jokes one can make. Granted, so let’s take a look at what they’re sending out and asking podcasters to pay for in return for a “free” review kit:
*the price went up since last I checked. It used to be in line with Manscaped. But okay, fine. This is supposedly the best product on the market, that you can get nowhere else in the world, right? Let’s do some product research and…
Hey, this looks familiar! And it’s much cheaper.
Sidenote: no disrespect for the product, but if you want it, buy it from Guangzhou Aimei Intelligent Technology directly. You can order just one for only 8 USD, that’s more than 90% discount and you don’t even have to worry about a discount code.
Funny story: Alibaba also let’s you see where companies ship their goods to. This’ll be important later.
But surely their other products are legit, right? We have the 25 USD HEDGE CLIPPERS
aka a 7pcs manicure set you can get on Amazon:
They even ship them in different colours! Red looks much better tbh. But what about the PUBE MUNCHER?
Incredible deal at only 55 USD, you’d normally have to pay 18.99 EUR for the same product without the Feed Me Pubes-sticker. Which some call a bonus.
None of their other products exist. They’re 3D mock ups only. So no ball balm for you!
All those products are always suspiciously SOLD OUT, so fair to assume there never even was a Ball Freshener! Even the scammer’s dog is ashamed:
Alright, fine. They’re overcharging and they’re asking podcasters to review their products. They even give away a PS5 in a giveaway that has no terms and conditions via a website that has no company address and was set up via shopify.
But that’s it, right? We’ve dismantled them, shown they’re a scam, this is surely where we stop. Right? They sent us a friendly reminder that they can’t keep the ReservedKit021 that leads to a generic affiliate site (https://www.smoothmyballs.com/pages/review) reserved for much longer… the pressure was on!
Naturally I tried to get them on the show. It looked promising for a while.
That’s where my love affair with “Nick” ended. Poor Nick, I’ll miss you and there’s always a special place for you in my balls. Nothing to do but browse their website, I guess…
Okay, typically for scammers: everything looks good at first glance, but take a closer look and the peices fall apart. I mean peaces. Pisces! PIECES! But they’ve had real customers like:
Tom Mulligian! Who purchased the SMB products before their website went live.
If only all of us had this much foresight in our crown jewels. Let’s get in touch with @ItsMuli123
Oh no! The wild west cowboy shaved his balls so hard, he trimmed himself out of existence. Same story with these other geniuses. Also, I’m fairly certain the fake surname is Mulligan, not Mulligian or Mullgian. Please respect their centuries old fake family history.
Let’s give their product a closer look on Alibaba:
and compare it to an instagram post:
They didn’t even change the packaging and their logo only appears to be on the mock up. Good stuff. Who in their right mind would host this website?
Shopify Canada? I knew I shouldn’t have sniffed the maple syrup flavoured ball balm. But that’s just their server, that tells you nothing. Precisely, so let’s dig into the website records, shall we? The registrant contact should provide us with all we need:
We’ve got an address, let’s check it out.
Who in their right minds would want to work next to the Toronto Carpet Factory in 96 Mowat Avenue Toronto, CA? Who, I ask you? But let me answer that question for you: A company called Tucows that apparently register and sell domains. They are legit – and we checked. They’re also in LinkedIn and have an actual website, so actual business, but… There’s always a but and they are notoriously harder to shave than balls:
Not looking like the best of class in best practices, at least when it comes to choosing their clients. Tucows might just have high privacy standards and thus be the go to partner for scammers, or they are in on the scams. It’s hard to tell at this point. But here’s one other bit of information that leads straight back to Canada: The Male Grooming Kit aka Pube Katana 3.1alpha hasn’t exactly sold like hot cakes on Alibaba, only a few shipments ever went out and one of the largest ones went to:
(a slightly larger one went to the Philippines, so I’d say both are likely candiates for Scam My Balls HQ, but I’d bet my money on Canada. Not my balls, I’m not insane. I like all three of them.) And that’s what we have so far. We’ll update the story as it unfolds. Do we know who’s behind SmoothMyBalls? Not yet. We don’t have a face and we don’t have a name. All we have is an Apple Watch, an arm, and a used Pube Muncher.
But we’ll get there!
your friendly neighbourhood gentleman thieves!
You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis
Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis