32 – Vacation and the Monthly Scam of the Week (plus SmoothMyBalls Upate)

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Oskar has fled to international waters while Sebastian remains behind – but nothing can or will stop our two gentleman thieves who are now reduced to one gentleman thief.

This month you’ll receive more fun shenanigans from harassing instagram scams as well as an update on SmoothMyBalls and what are arch rivals from going bald down under are up to these days.

Not to worry, we’ll be back to more regular episodes as soon as we can, but for now please enjoy this shorter filler episode.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunesStitcherSpotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!


Yet Another Instagram Scam… Borextrade, EliteCryptotrade, Coinprofitmax…

So, I was just casually hanging out on Instagram, looking for borderline nudes with girls staring down the barrel of the lens when I got a DM!

Finally, my chance to get rich quick! And quick!

*also I didn’t black out any names, because what the heck. It’s all made up anyway, right? I’m a bit proud to admit that he’s actually blocked me after my last message. Anyway, let’s get right into this week’s instagram scam!

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I love making small talk with these guys and keeping them busy. Initially I thought we’d have to actively search for the next instagram scam, grift, ot multilevel marketing bullshit. But hey! They came to us!

I also love that they really got the wrong account when they’re DMing us. Like, all it would’ve taken was not to get in touch with us and they’d be fine.

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Can’t say we didn’t warn them… but I admire the confidence on these guys thinking their scam is so damn good, so waterproof, that they are beyond being fucked with.

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So at this point I did a little digging. Two things came up.

A: They registered their domain with namecheap.com – which… look… if you’re trying to sell people on you being a legit trading platform, maybe spring for a better registrar. Or, I mean… one that doesn’t sound as cheap at least.

And B: They have a company address. Not what I expected, but I take what I can get. They are registered under 56 Burnley St, Richmond Vic 3121, bloody Australia, MATE!

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Must be nice, let’s check it out:


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Uhm… okay…

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Gonna be nice one day though…


But it’s not just the site that “Dave” “Francis” made up, Borextrade.com that is a scam registered in Melbourne. If you just type the address into google…


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There’s a lot of sites registered in 56 burnley st, richmond vic 3121 – must be getting pretty crowded, in the garages alone… can you imagine all those poor ferraris squatting one next to the other like poor people on a train? I think I’m gonna be sick!

Here’s a neat trick to save money, if you’re a scammer operating on Instagram with multiple pages: Just use namecheap for all (or at least most) your domain registrations:

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I mean, you get the point. But these websites look nice. And legit. Or at least legit enough. They all look the same though. So, I’m presuming it’s the same website using a different theme every single time:

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Again, these don’t look bad, not at all. Not much different from a professional trading site and certainly a lot more professional than our Robin Hood blog here.

But, man! This dude is relentless. Somebody must’ve told him, that if he lures people into a conversation they’re more likely to fall for the scam. Kudos for still trying, Dave! If I can call you Dave. Can I?

The balls on this guy, smooth or otherwise.

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And then he ghosted me. Alas. Or maybe he got reported, who knows?

But this is where this scam ends for us. For now. Partly, because “David” has – see above – blocked me. Or blockchained me, whatever.


I first thought somebody must’ve reported him, but really, his amazing page still exists.



David, please! What have I done to you? Can you forgive me? I’ll trade anything with you, anything! Just to look at your cars and screens one more time… oh, those rosy cheeks, so mischievous, so full of shite.

Anyway, it’s been fun! More scams please, get in touch! We are @howdoirobthis on socials and we are very gullible! *wink*




your Bitcoin Bandits of Big Dick Energy

PS: We’re not the only ones in the know. So, PSA – if something looks to good to be true, or someone is offering an investment opportunity on Instagram of all places, be wary!

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For SEO purposes, here’s a list of all crypto investment scam sites we could find:

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This one doesn’t even have a dedicated e-mail for convenience’s sake
and again, the same site, but what’s with the domain? What’s a stocksto?
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We’re sure there are more, just google the address.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunesStitcherSpotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

Smooth My Balls – Uncovering a Scam

Research and Resources

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You can listen to episode 31 of our podcast on pretty much all platforms, if you want to find out more about @Smoothmyballs, their “company”, their MO, and their affiliate model. In the meantime, we can also provide you with some evidence to uncover why we come to the conclusion that Smooth My Balls is a scam, and how you could identify them and other similarly dodgy business models.


SmoothMyBalls Messages on Instagram – Is This a Scam?


On April 25th we received the following message:


I didn’t look into the account at this point and thought it was just some generic affiliate rubbish. Promote a product you’ve never tested, offer a code, etc. –  fine, whatever. But the brand sounds funny, we love things that sound funny. So why not hit them up. I sent them a message and this was the reply I got:


I merely skimmed it and only later clicked on the link to find out… well, it’s not actually free, is it? We’d have to purchase the discounted kit first. And paying anything to be part of a programme… well, that’s multi level marketing scheme material right there. Don’t worry, if you’ve received the same or a very similar message. We’ve checked and double-checked and triple-checked. There’s no Dana, only copy-paste. So, why bother? Why engage with them, at all? Because we steal from people that deserve to be stolen from. Everything looks professional enough… at first glance, so let’s start with their socials. 12 posts on Instagram and… 470k followers? Whoa! Big brand right there.


Let’s check their facebook and twitter next:

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Those numbers aren’t quite as impressive, but I guess SmoothMyBalls didn’t have the money to buy bots across platforms. Their twitter even uses their old logo. Alas, bots these days… Interestingly, they only liked one tweet:

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Good stuff. Seems that Smooth My Balls really focuses on the far right testicle. But people have brand ambassadored for them, right? And they’re waving around a product. The Turf Chopper 3.0 – wait, that also sounds familiar…


SmoothMyBalls – Looking Like a Proper Brand with Alibaba Products


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But that’s not fair! There’s only so many ball-lawn-jokes one can make. Granted, so let’s take a look at what they’re sending out and asking podcasters to pay for in return for a “free” review kit:

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*the price went up since last I checked. It used to be in line with Manscaped. But okay, fine. This is supposedly the best product on the market, that you can get nowhere else in the world, right? Let’s do some product research and…

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Hey, this looks familiar! And it’s much cheaper.

Sidenote: no disrespect for the product, but if you want it, buy it from Guangzhou Aimei Intelligent Technology directly. You can order just one for only 8 USD, that’s more than 90% discount and you don’t even have to worry about a discount code.

Funny story: Alibaba also let’s you see where companies ship their goods to. This’ll be important later. Screenshot 2021-04-29 at 16.47.39.png

The SmoothMyBalls Male Grooming Kit – Generic Products Rebranded


But surely their other products are legit, right? We have the 25 USD HEDGE CLIPPERS


aka a 7pcs manicure set you can get on Amazon:


They even ship them in different colours! Red looks much better tbh. But what about the PUBE MUNCHER?


Incredible deal at only 55 USD, you’d normally have to pay 18.99 EUR for the same product without the Feed Me Pubes-sticker. Which some call a bonus.


They’re even cheaper in blue. The resemblance is uncanny… that must be some pricy sticker…


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Other SmoothMyBalls Products – Suspiciously Sold Out


None of their other products exist. They’re 3D mock ups only. So no ball balm for you!

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UPDATE: I wanna talk about one other product that doesn’t exist, the SACKMAT. Which is a yoga mat with a misaligned print. So, good stuff.



All those products are always suspiciously SOLD OUT, so fair to assume there never even was a Ball Freshener! Even the scammer’s dog is ashamed:


Alright, fine. They’re overcharging and they’re asking podcasters to review their products. They even give away a PS5 in a giveaway that has no terms and conditions via a website that has no company address and was set up via shopify. 

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Targeting the SmoothMyBalls Scam Where It Hurts (the Balls)


But that’s it, right? We’ve dismantled them, shown they’re a scam, this is surely where we stop. Right? They sent us a friendly reminder that they can’t keep the ReservedKit021 that leads to a generic affiliate site (https://www.smoothmyballs.com/pages/review) reserved for much longer… the pressure was on!

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Naturally I tried to get them on the show. It looked promising for a while.


That’s where my love affair with “Nick” ended. Poor Nick, I’ll miss you and there’s always a special place for you in my balls. Nothing to do but browse their website, I guess…



A Closer Look at SmoothMyBalls “Real” Reviews from “Real” Customers


Okay, typically for scammers: everything looks good at first glance, but take a closer look and the peices fall apart. I mean peaces. Pisces! PIECES! But they’ve had real customers like:


Tom Mulligian! Who purchased the SMB products before their website went live.

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If only all of us had this much foresight in our crown jewels. Let’s get in touch with @ItsMuli123

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Oh no! The wild west cowboy shaved his balls so hard, he trimmed himself out of existence. Same story with these other geniuses. Also, I’m fairly certain the fake surname is Mulligan, not Mulligian or Mullgian. Please respect their centuries old fake family history.

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Comparing the Turf Chopper 3.0 to the Alibaba Male Grooming Trimmer – They Didn’t Even Change the Packaging


Let’s give their product a closer look on Alibaba:


and compare it to an instagram post:


They didn’t even change the packaging and their logo only appears to be on the mock up. Good stuff. Who in their right mind would host this website?


Investigating the Hosts and Registrars Behind SmoothMyBalls


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Shopify Canada? I knew I shouldn’t have sniffed the maple syrup flavoured ball balm. But that’s just their server, that tells you nothing. Precisely, so let’s dig into the website records, shall we? The registrant contact should provide us with all we need:

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We’ve got an address, let’s check it out.

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Who on this forsaken planet would want to work next to the Toronto Carpet Factory in 96 Mowat Avenue Toronto, CA? Who, I ask you? But let me answer that question for you: A company called Tucows that apparently register and sell domains. They are legit – and we checked. They’re also on LinkedIn and have an actual website, so actual business, but… There’s always a but and they are notoriously harder to shave than balls:

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Not looking like the best of class in best practices, at least when it comes to choosing their clients. Tucows might just have high privacy standards and thus be the go to partner for scammers, or they are in on the scams. It’s hard to tell at this point. But here’s one other bit of information that leads straight back to Canada: The Male Grooming Kit aka Pube Katana 3.1alpha hasn’t exactly sold like hot cakes on Alibaba, only a few shipments ever went out and one of the largest ones went to:


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(a slightly larger one went to the Philippines, so I’d say both are likely candiates for Scam My Balls HQ, but I’d bet my money on Canada. Not my balls, I’m not insane. I like all three of them.) And that’s what we have so far. We’ll update the story as it unfolds. Do we know who’s behind SmoothMyBalls? Not yet. We don’t have a face and we don’t have a name. All we have is an Apple Watch, an arm, and a used Pube Muncher.


But we’ll get there!



your friendly neighbourhood gentleman thieves!


UPDATE 21/05/21:

Congratulations to everyone who overpayed to write a review for Smoothmyballs that they would otherwise have to pay copywriters for, you made it! And by it I mean you got published! On their website. You’re a published author now. 

26 reviews and counting…


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Still nowhere near the 75 reviews that don’t exist.


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But I love how they are doubling down. Real reviews from REAL customers. Screenshot 2021-05-12 at 18.13.37.png

Also, would you check out their URL ffs? They’ve literally put exposed (which is a pun, I get puns) and scam (!) in their URL, so people searching for smoothmyballs scam get to their review site. Pathetic.


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Sure, I mean they payed to review your product and you coerced them into your MLM. Other than that, real. For sure. All reviews go through judge.me and we’re looking into it. They are hard to find on there. 

Also, the price for the TURF CHOPPER has gone up yet again, which makes me wonder, if the page autocalculates the dollar price based on a nother currency. 


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UPDATE: 14/05/21

We must’ve really gotten under their (wrinkly ball) skin, because they keep adding “exposing scam” to all their descriptions to intercept traffic.


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Can’t say we’re not loving being their arch nemesis!


UPDATE: 13/05/21

Came across an incredibly similar company today. Called SmoothNuts

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Just to compare: They are legit, they have a company address and much fairer prices. So, if you really, really, really want one of the products from the SMB line-up, there are much better alternatives. 
Disclaimer: We’re not sponsored, and we’ve never used the product. But we can tell a real company from a fake one. 


UPDATE 20/05/21:

There’s now a review for one of the products that aren’t real. And I’m A-Z loving it. 

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Everything else is still stuck at the fake reviews from May 8th. There’s 19 for the trimmer.

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Even though the product page says there’s 79, they really missed a chance to make it 69. The inconsistent pricing is also brilliant.

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And just because this post is getting incredibly, unreadibly long: we made a follow up with the latest shenanigans SmoothMyBalls are up to. So, check it out, if you wanna know yet more!

With smooth regards,



Your ballsy bandits of nether region nudity



You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunesStitcherSpotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!