Harry Macklowe, real estate lover and fine art hater, has painted a Cy Twombly style target on his head – selling a collection of fine art curated by his ex-wife and himself, posting his wedding pics 42ft wide all over New York City, and taking on loans worth a few billion.
So, whatever the divorce lawyers won’t fetch from his claws, our friendly neighbourhood gentleman thieves will take.
And while Sotheby’s will auction off the second half of the Macklowe collection, we shall make sure there’s nothing to auction off but dust and lint. Watch out, NYC! I’m walkin’ ‘ere!
Germany is world renowned for its efficiency – but the vaccine rollout demonstrates that more bureaucracy isn’t always better. With jabs not being shoved into peoples arms, the two gentleman thieves take it upon themselves to vaccinate the willing, the deserving, and themselves.
Involving elaborate costumes that would fool Sherlock Holmes himself, a layout of the weirdest make shift hangar in the world, and a deep dive into political failure and conspiracy nuts, the fate of this heist is up in the air!
Our two gentleman thieves are split up yet again. While Oskar Brown is oa secret mission retrieving a vaccine microchip from Bill Gates, Sebastian Weissbach distracts you with some ASMR. This solo episode is as sensual as it is nonsensical and brings you some much needed relaxation and deep ear attention, if that’s what you’re into. It also explains the roots of bright supremacy.
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New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it two gentleman thieves glued together in an overly expensive suit on a mission to steal Nic Cage’s Superman outfit?
Yup. It’s just that. In this episode we time travel to the magical year of 1997, when Nicolas Cage could’ve been Tim Burton’s Superman, fought off a giant spider, and had a space dog. None of this came to pass, but a suit was created fit for a Kryptonian. Shinier than any material on earth, glossier, sparklier, with layers and layers of latex to allow full appreciation of Cage’s flowing black hair piece.
And now it is for us to foil Warner Bros.’s evil plan, un-release the Snyder cut, take our own cut, and make a flight for it!
What would you do, if you had all the money, fame, and power in the world? Well, if you are world (now in-)famous author Just Kidding Rowling (or maybe it’s pronounced Rowling?) the answer is simple: Use your platform to be a transphobic TERF.
Our two gentlemen thieves of course can’t and won’t let that stand and will simply rob the Scottish Killiechassie mansion near Aberfeldy Distillery, a potential sponsor.
But what do smarties have to do with that heist? What’s the spell that freezes people in place? Who is the half blood prince, and was Voldemort unjustly vilified because he claimed trans women are women? Find out in this week’s episode of JK Rowling’s famous twitter account “I’ve always been woke and all my characters are gay, I just never mentioned it, because it would’ve taken time off my busy schedule ruining Edinburgh cafes”
Prison can’t keep two gentleman thieves back, lockdown can’t keep two gentleman thieves back, and neither can varying audio quality. Corona rules apply, so social distancing, no fancy suits, no first class flights.
Join us for episode 20 of our podcast as Oskar and Sebastian steal from the richest prick on Earth Jeffaniel Jeffrey Bezos and his Dr. Manhattan style 10,000 year clock plan near the Blue Horizon space port.
The man might not pay his fair share in taxes, but does he look like an egg with an ex-wife that has a stripper’s name.
We dive deep into mountains, physics, and Bezos’ arch rival in all things space travel Elon “Elongated” Musk.
No commander in chief is complete without two of them! That’s testicles and Air Force One and Air Force One II – Electric Boogaloo.
Just in time for the upcoming US election pitting one old white man against another, our gentleman thief Sebastian (not that old, white, man) and vixen of crime Judith will steal the president’s plane. How, why, and mostly how? Well, listen in as the two plan golf trips, gilly suits, and photo shoots.
Friend of the show Judith Shoemaker still fills in for Oskar this month, so send her lots of love on Instagram (@shoedith_jumaker) and follow her miscellaneous adventures and shenanigans.
Nothing is quite as fashionable as crime… perhaps the world’s most famous Birman cat Choupette. Now that her previous owner Karl Lagerfeld designs black suits in – optimistically – Limbo, she is left to her own devices and Lagerfeld’s millions.
Together with special guest Erman Jones our two gentleman thieves plan for a speedy getaway on the catwalk, designer perfumes, expensive suits (as always), and lots of catnip.
When God closes a window, he opens a door. Unless of course that door happens to be the world famous door of 10 Downing Street. Originally installed in the 1700s, the door serves the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom as an entrance to his/her office and a prestigious backdrop for interviews.
Unfortunately with Brexit approaching on October 31st, the door will fall into complete disarray. Enough reason for our two gentleman thieves to come up with an unhinged plan and open the door to opportunity. Boris Johnson won’t miss the door, after all. Most likely, he won’t even notice. What’s a door with a country on fire?
It’s coming home to the two gentleman thieves and their special guest Black Prez as the three of them attempt to steal from the most vicious, corrupt, and downright evil organisation on the planet: FIFA!
The FIFA World Cup Trophy is the second of its kind and the only one that hasn’t been stolen. Yet.
Staging a heist more elegant than the two thefts of the Cup Jules Rimet, the trophy will finally be safe in the heist lounge. If not for a few pesky teenagers and their dumb dog named Pickles…
New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!
You can find our guest heist host and friend of the show Lie on Instagram @blackprez, on Twitter @blackprez, on Facebook Black Prez Music, or listen to his music on Spotify, and make his beats the very personal score for your scores.
This “One Time” our two gentleman thieves will get the chance of a lifetime as they not only meet, but actually heist a celebrity. None other than Canada’s national treasure and hotty of the decade, that isn’t Justin Trudeau: Justin Bieber.
The singer is not only about to get married, he is unknowingly about to get kidnapped. Four weddings and a heist later, you will know how to effectively steal a groom and who our favourite Baldwin brother is… you might be surprised by the answer (it’s Alec).
It’s go big or go home! In episode three, criminal masterminds Oskar Brown and Sebastian Weissbach welcome special guest star Lie Chee to the heist lounge and steal the Resolute Desk right from under the president’s nose.
The very desk where JFK played with his children, Bill Clinton cheated on his wife, and Donald Trump… let’s not think about it too much.
But it certainly makes for a good heist: security is tight, the desk is easily worth millions, and we even get to jump out of a cake*!
Can you steal a döner kebab? Well, easily. Can you steal a kebab stand? The most famous kebab stand in all of Berlin and then resell it to someone’s sweet sixteen birthday party? Maybe you can’t, but our two gentleman thieves Oskar Brown and Sebastian Weissbach are sure going to try.
Mustafa’s Gemüse Döner at Mehringdamm is the target for this month’s episode and one that’ll involve feeding the homeless, scantily clad ladies, and an Airbus standard issue H135.
In the very first episode of the podcast, gentleman thieves Oskar Brown and Sebastian Matthias Weissbach plan the robbery of an IKEA furniture store.
Stakes are high with an estimated score of 300.000 Euros. How do they go about it, what are the ins and outs? And can they assemble their plan just in time to make for an elegant getaway or will they be turned into meat balls?