Crime Comedy – HOW DO I ROB THIS?

36 – Bored Ape See, Bored Ape Do

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Our two non-fungible gentleman thieves are back, less fungible than ever, more non-fungible, and tokens of virtue, honesty, and petty theft.

In this special episode, we yet again attempt to wrap our heads around NFTs, try to figure out what fungible even means, and discuss the linguistics of – to funge – . In the meantime, we lure all shilling celebrities onto a yacht and have them clash against Jeff Bezos and the Koningshaven bridge disassembly.

Will Oskar and Sebastian succeed and – more importantly – will they ever understand or stop discussing what an NFT is?

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

35 – Three D’s: Debt, Divorce, and Dicks

Podcast

Harry Macklowe, real estate lover and fine art hater, has painted a Cy Twombly style target on his head – selling a collection of fine art curated by his ex-wife and himself, posting his wedding pics 42ft wide all over New York City, and taking on loans worth a few billion.

So, whatever the divorce lawyers won’t fetch from his claws, our friendly neighbourhood gentleman thieves will take.

And while Sotheby’s will auction off the second half of the Macklowe collection, we shall make sure there’s nothing to auction off but dust and lint. Watch out, NYC! I’m walkin’ ‘ere!

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

34 – VFP: Very Fungible Podcast

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Our gentleman thieves are back, baby! For season two!

And we’re balls deep inside the latest digital scheme to relieve numbnuts of their hard earned moneys: NFTs.

What is an NFT? How do they work? Why would anyone buy them? And, most importantly, which companies profit off of them and have bounty ripe for the taking.

Plus: An inside look into an actual heist within the German federal election and an update on our friends at smoothmyballs.

You don’t wanna miss the first time, we’re back in the same room in months!

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

32 – Vacation and the Monthly Scam of the Week (plus SmoothMyBalls Upate)

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Oskar has fled to international waters while Sebastian remains behind – but nothing can or will stop our two gentleman thieves who are now reduced to one gentleman thief.

This month you’ll receive more fun shenanigans from harassing instagram scams as well as an update on SmoothMyBalls and what are arch rivals from going bald down under are up to these days.

Not to worry, we’ll be back to more regular episodes as soon as we can, but for now please enjoy this shorter filler episode.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

30 – Per Aspera ad Astra (Zeneca)

Podcast

Germany is world renowned for its efficiency – but the vaccine rollout demonstrates that more bureaucracy isn’t always better. With jabs not being shoved into peoples arms, the two gentleman thieves take it upon themselves to vaccinate the willing, the deserving, and themselves.

Involving elaborate costumes that would fool Sherlock Holmes himself, a layout of the weirdest make shift hangar in the world, and a deep dive into political failure and conspiracy nuts, the fate of this heist is up in the air!

Listen to our two gentleman thieves and find out!

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

28 – They Stole it From Us, Our Precious

Podcast

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A day may come when the courage of podcasting men fails, when the hour of the wolf draws nigh and we leave all market shares to far more popular podcasts, but it is not this day! This day, we record remotely!

In this brand new episode, our two gentleman of Numenor thieves return to their mics via remote recording and rob the real life Hobbiton and the not so real life Minas Tirith in a spectacular double coup, kicking a few doors down and stealing a Palantir (the seeing stone, not the shady surveillance company).

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

22 – Vincere Est Vivere

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Lockdown can’t hold our two gentleman thieves down as they dive deep into the US’s colonial history and take care of one illustrious John Smith. Not the agent from the “Matrix”, the one from Disney’s “Pocahontas”. Except in real life.

Turns out, 17th century British captain and Virginia’s governour John Smith was a dick. Who would’ve thought? Four centuries later he’s a bronze statue, and statues are falling like leaves in autumn these days. Let’s use the momentum and get rid of a bloodsucking colonial with a few hundred thousand freshly bred bloodsuckers.

How? Listen, and find out! Also, this might be our last remote recording, so audio quality should be much better on the next episode. Thanks for bearing with us!

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

20 – The 10,000 Year Clock Blockers

Podcast

Prison can’t keep two gentleman thieves back, lockdown can’t keep two gentleman thieves back, and neither can varying audio quality. Corona rules apply, so social distancing, no fancy suits, no first class flights.

Join us for episode 20 of our podcast as Oskar and Sebastian steal from the richest prick on Earth Jeffaniel Jeffrey Bezos and his Dr. Manhattan style 10,000 year clock plan near the Blue Horizon space port.

The man might not pay his fair share in taxes, but does he look like an egg with an ex-wife that has a stripper’s name.

We dive deep into mountains, physics, and Bezos’ arch rival in all things space travel Elon “Elongated” Musk.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

17 – Paws for a Moment (with Erman Jones)

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Nothing is quite as fashionable as crime… perhaps the world’s most famous Birman cat Choupette. Now that her previous owner Karl Lagerfeld designs black suits in – optimistically – Limbo, she is left to her own devices and Lagerfeld’s millions.

Together with special guest Erman Jones our two gentleman thieves plan for a speedy getaway on the catwalk, designer perfumes, expensive suits (as always), and lots of catnip.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

15 – The Sitting Senator of Queensland (with Two in the Think Tank)

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In our 15th episode our two gentleman thieves go down under! Together with Alasdair and Andy from Two in the Think Tank we steal something very comfortable and very right wing.

Pauline Hanson from Australia’s One Nation Party has a seat in the Australian Senate in Canberra. For now. Attempting to unseat her and leave the woman standing right near the urethra of the Australian Phallic Chamber of the senate, we’ll have to use jet skis, newspaper ads, a giant golden coat of course, and Grig. Our very own character that is just original enough to not be a mock up Grug.

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Two in the Think Tank are on Twitter: @twointank

Listen to their podcast Two in the Think Tank or relax to Alasdair’s soothing voice on Shusher Guided Meditations – they also have a Patreon, so go and unsteal from them by giving them some of your moneys!

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

14 – Open Door Policy

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When God closes a window, he opens a door. Unless of course that door happens to be the world famous door of 10 Downing Street. Originally installed in the 1700s, the door serves the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom as an entrance to his/her office and a prestigious backdrop for interviews.

Unfortunately with Brexit approaching on October 31st, the door will fall into complete disarray. Enough reason for our two gentleman thieves to come up with an unhinged plan and open the door to opportunity. Boris Johnson won’t miss the door, after all. Most likely, he won’t even notice. What’s a door with a country on fire?

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

12 – It’s All Downhill From Here (with Olivia Dean)

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In our twelfth night we can only thank the Academy for the Oscars we are about to steal. As our gentleman thieves Oskar Brown and Sebastian Weissbach and gentlewoman guest thief Olivia Dean embark on a journey to steal from Keyser Soze himself.

Kevin Spacey has won two Oscars (that’s roughly one per ten accusations of sexual misconduct) and we will take them back. How? The only way we know how to, rent a theatre, and put on a play. This mouse trap will make us some big money…

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

Our special guest and scream queen Olivia Dean is on instagram @oliviadean66, follow her for stories and whatever kids do on Instagram these days.

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

06 – The Final Score (with Black Prez)

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It’s coming home to the two gentleman thieves and their special guest Black Prez as the three of them attempt to steal from the most vicious, corrupt, and downright evil organisation on the planet: FIFA!

The FIFA World Cup Trophy is the second of its kind and the only one that hasn’t been stolen. Yet.

Staging a heist more elegant than the two thefts of the Cup Jules Rimet, the trophy will finally be safe in the heist lounge. If not for a few pesky teenagers and their dumb dog named Pickles…

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

You can find our guest heist host and friend of the show Lie on Instagram @blackprez, on Twitter @blackprez, on Facebook Black Prez Music, or listen to his music on Spotify, and make his beats the very personal score for your scores.

05 – The Atlanta Apothecary

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The gentleman thieves are back for another sweet, sweet episode. This time they’re stealing the perhaps sweetest secret of all, a formula so well kept, that only Box 7X would be enough to contain their excitement: the Coca Cola secret formula was concocted by John Pemberton in the late 19th century and is absolutely legendary.

For safekeeping the formula is currently stored in a real vault within a fake vault in the World of Coca Cola Museum in Atlanta, Georgia. Will they succeed or will this job prove to be too sticky?

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!

04 – Stockholm Captivity

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This “One Time” our two gentleman thieves will get the chance of a lifetime as they not only meet, but actually heist a celebrity. None other than Canada’s national treasure and hotty of the decade, that isn’t Justin Trudeau: Justin Bieber.

The singer is not only about to get married, he is unknowingly about to get kidnapped. Four weddings and a heist later, you will know how to effectively steal a groom and who our favourite Baldwin brother is… you might be surprised by the answer (it’s Alec).

You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis

Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis

Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach

New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!