Our two non-fungible gentleman thieves are back, less fungible than ever, more non-fungible, and tokens of virtue, honesty, and petty theft.
In this special episode, we yet again attempt to wrap our heads around NFTs, try to figure out what fungible even means, and discuss the linguistics of – to funge – . In the meantime, we lure all shilling celebrities onto a yacht and have them clash against Jeff Bezos and the Koningshaven bridge disassembly.
Will Oskar and Sebastian succeed and – more importantly – will they ever understand or stop discussing what an NFT is?
Harry Macklowe, real estate lover and fine art hater, has painted a Cy Twombly style target on his head – selling a collection of fine art curated by his ex-wife and himself, posting his wedding pics 42ft wide all over New York City, and taking on loans worth a few billion.
So, whatever the divorce lawyers won’t fetch from his claws, our friendly neighbourhood gentleman thieves will take.
And while Sotheby’s will auction off the second half of the Macklowe collection, we shall make sure there’s nothing to auction off but dust and lint. Watch out, NYC! I’m walkin’ ‘ere!
Our two gentleman thieves are split up yet again. While Oskar Brown is oa secret mission retrieving a vaccine microchip from Bill Gates, Sebastian Weissbach distracts you with some ASMR. This solo episode is as sensual as it is nonsensical and brings you some much needed relaxation and deep ear attention, if that’s what you’re into. It also explains the roots of bright supremacy.
You can reach How Do I Rob This on Twitter: @HowDoIRobThis
Or find out more about our heist plans on Instagram: @HowDoIRobThis
Or follow our two mastermind criminals @theoskarbrown and @smweissbach
New episodes on the 7th of every month. You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, Spotify, and YouTube – and please feel free to leave us a sweet, sweet review!
Influencers are the bane of modern society. They are everywhere, on the streets, in your house, even in your phones! The worst of the worst live in something called Honey House, which is like Hype House for adults. Quote unquote adults.
These twentysomethings and their made up careers are no match for two gentleman thieves and their malignant misunderstanding of what a TikTok is. Relentlessly they will use and understand modern technology and combine it with halloween spookiness to be the bad influence they themselves were always meant to be.
We’re also on TikTok now. We’ve made one TikTok and that started and simultaneously ended our careers.
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it two gentleman thieves glued together in an overly expensive suit on a mission to steal Nic Cage’s Superman outfit?
Yup. It’s just that. In this episode we time travel to the magical year of 1997, when Nicolas Cage could’ve been Tim Burton’s Superman, fought off a giant spider, and had a space dog. None of this came to pass, but a suit was created fit for a Kryptonian. Shinier than any material on earth, glossier, sparklier, with layers and layers of latex to allow full appreciation of Cage’s flowing black hair piece.
And now it is for us to foil Warner Bros.’s evil plan, un-release the Snyder cut, take our own cut, and make a flight for it!
No commander in chief is complete without two of them! That’s testicles and Air Force One and Air Force One II – Electric Boogaloo.
Just in time for the upcoming US election pitting one old white man against another, our gentleman thief Sebastian (not that old, white, man) and vixen of crime Judith will steal the president’s plane. How, why, and mostly how? Well, listen in as the two plan golf trips, gilly suits, and photo shoots.
Friend of the show Judith Shoemaker still fills in for Oskar this month, so send her lots of love on Instagram (@shoedith_jumaker) and follow her miscellaneous adventures and shenanigans.
When God closes a window, he opens a door. Unless of course that door happens to be the world famous door of 10 Downing Street. Originally installed in the 1700s, the door serves the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom as an entrance to his/her office and a prestigious backdrop for interviews.
Unfortunately with Brexit approaching on October 31st, the door will fall into complete disarray. Enough reason for our two gentleman thieves to come up with an unhinged plan and open the door to opportunity. Boris Johnson won’t miss the door, after all. Most likely, he won’t even notice. What’s a door with a country on fire?
In our twelfth night we can only thank the Academy for the Oscars we are about to steal. As our gentleman thieves Oskar Brown and Sebastian Weissbach and gentlewoman guest thief Olivia Dean embark on a journey to steal from Keyser Soze himself.
Kevin Spacey has won two Oscars (that’s roughly one per ten accusations of sexual misconduct) and we will take them back. How? The only way we know how to, rent a theatre, and put on a play. This mouse trap will make us some big money…